Imagining the Possibility of Yes
Have courage. Take heart. (edited slightly 12/5/2022)
I love the Annunciation poem by Denise Levertov that I included on our page this week. When we speak of Mary - or certainly the way I heard about Mary growing up - the story was about meekness and unquestioning obedience. I don’t remember being told of her courage and her consent. Her YES - like ours - is not presumed.
I’ve never experienced an angel coming into my home. I go back and forth about whether that would make God’s invitations in my life more daunting to say yes or more difficult to turn away. Sometimes, I envy the clarity.
I remember the advent season before my hysterectomy - it was a time of reflection, grief, and reimagining. Even though I’d never birthed a child, I wondered how I would relate to images of wombs and midwifing God.
What I discovered in an even more intimate way (for me) was how my body, my gender, or relationship to motherhood in no way precluded being asked to bear Christ-light into the world. Even without a uterus, I have felt God stirring inside of me. I have experienced the conception of an idea or a call. I have gestated and discerned. And I hope - beyond hope - that my life in some way - even imperfectly - incarnates a loving, generous, creative Spirit through my choices and actions. Christ’s hands and body. My hands, his hands.
Like you perhaps, it is what I’m contemplating this Advent. What is my YES?
Here is what I know I have in common with Mary - the need for visits and companions.
I did something that felt brave this week - that courage led to another ask, a deeper invitation. Consequences.
Angel or not - I was afraid - I felt doubt - and I had (have) so many questions. How can this be?
So, I did what women do - I traveled to those who make my heart stir. I called those who also say YES - and who wonder if they will have the capacity and courage. And no - of course no - it’s not only women. But this advent devotional community is. And for me - womxn so often are the ones that fling open their doors and invite me in and exclaim - come, come, tell me. Tell me about the life stirring in you and I will share all that is stirring in me! Take heart - in fact - take mine - I will be your courage until your own ignites - I will ask you tough questions, and worry after you, and remind you who you are. I will discern with you.
Saying YES to God is personal, intimate…but it is not individual. We are asked to IMAGINE our own leaning in, to conceive how our lives and choices matter, to so love the world, that we offer our hearts and selves. We are also asked to imagine that we do not - that we cannot - that we should not - ever do that alone.
We need community and accountability.
Beyond needing companions & courage - the truth is we need one another to know when and how and in what manner to say YES. Power, privilege, and the culture that maintains those systems, can distort our discernment. The more access we have to that power - whether through role or identity - the more we need trusted others when it comes time to risk, be bold. Our choices impact one another - we do not say either YES or no in a vacuum.
I believe we are also asked to realize there is not one singular invitation. Certainly, because God will keep extending the invitation to participate. And. Because we will fail and grow and learn and discern again. we might very well not know what to do when we are asked to carry truth or love in our bodies and choices. We discern in community - each of us sifting through our contexts, capacities, understandings, as well as the sacrifices, burdens, graces, and motivations for our choices.
Each day, year, season, moment, relationship, encounter, injustice - each and every one - opportunities to manifest LOVE in imperfect ways.
And yes, there will be risks and consequences. And yes, there will be companions and visits. And yes - there will be graces and fruits.
What will we choose to bring forth today? Can we imagine - together - the possibility of saying yes?
